I, like most of the world, laughed my ass off when I heard Paris Hilton was going to jail. I know I know I’m an asshole, ohh you should have heard me when I found out she was learning karate to defend herself from the “lesbians” (I couldn’t breathe). This horrible (well for her) story is entertaining and sad all at the same time like an after school special train wreck. I’m not completely heartless though, on the one hand I do feel plenty sorry for her, and on the other hand she has and does get away with murder her entire entitled life so this might be karma catching up? Have the stars and the moon aligned all at the same time to inflict hard justice in the world???? Umm… no apparently things are the way they have always been. Paris does some dumb shit and nothing happens. I wonder has a precedent been set forth with her early release? Can I break the law and get off because I have a medical condition or do I need a few more zeros in my bank account…

I’ve always been annoyed with the judicial system but this just reinforces my disgust. There is nothing fair in the law of the land when a convicted drunk driver gets 2 and a half DAYS in jail. While innocent people rot in prison this girl cries a few hours and is free wtf, no seriously wtf. But it’s not all her fault if you’re on a sitcom or work in television your chances of getting off seem to shoot up 500%. With the latest slew of celebrity drunk drivers from Billy Joel, Mel Gibson, George Michael, Lindsey Lohan, Eve, Nick Carter, Ty Pennington, Nicole Richie, Tracy Morgan, Rip Torn etc… (I would need wallpaper and a tiny font just to list all these assholes but I think you get the point)

So let me get this straight if I’m famous and say… I take some coke and wreck my car driving over bushes and hitting a tree that’s ok, a glass of wine after dinner is not. If I smash my car into a nearby house that is ok, glass of beer after the superbowl not cool. Double homicide? (Ohhh that one was too easy.) How about getting arrested for DUI three times and blame my publicist for my suspended license that sounds a-ok to me. Hell I don’t even smoke weed but it would appear people who do are a menace to society, however screaming racist obscenities while verbally assaulting a female police officer is great as long as you directed the Passion of the Christ. You do see where I’m going with all this… The laws of the land are a joke depending on who is doing the “breaking” but you know this already.

Ohhh and before I forget from the bottom of my heart F#CK YOU Andrew Speaker (better known as the TB patient with air miles)